Looking North, Heading South

A few weeks ago my life changed. Change is always good I've been told, however at the time it is changing whether good or bad, occasionally one can seem skittish about it. I am a strong believer of karma - the universe - what ever you may call it - and this time I was following my gut. I needed change, and I needed something new. 

I headed north for my 3 week planned vacation; Rome, Copenhagen and Berlin. A mixture of concert, culture and family. Much needed after this insane year (2014)! Whilst on a culture trip I stumbled upon this (image) with my toes. Ironic as I was in or near Copenhagen, my heart was looking south to or near Cape Town (actually Wilderness) and my new possible adventure was lying in Accra! 

Now I bet you are thinking, yeah yeah, crazy guy - but a week later from standing on this compass showing the world, I got a job with a NGO, where I would be jetting off to Accra for a whole month. 

To me it just shows that one needs to follow your inner self, your gut, or what ever you may call it, and most importantly trust yourself, (and have fun) because it's your life, and you only have one chance at it!

Over the course of the year, I have been striving for perfection. My new company, me, my relationship, my everything! Whilst I am not perfect, I have had my ups and downs, areas where I failed, and failed hard - but coming to Accra has been the best thing for me, a life lesson (one of many still to come my way). A wise old man whom is my boss, Mr A, said to me, "I am a man of action. One needs to make sure one does it now, don't worry about if it is done perfectly, the perfection will come with time." I couldn't have said it better - I think this is one of my lessons learnt, for me anyway, that I need to calm down and stop striving for perfection every second of the day, but sit, be calm, relax, think and  love what you are doing in the present moment. 

Thus far it is working. I am not perfect, I am human, and still make mistakes - but for now I am in love with what I am doing - I am conscious - I am present - I am Steffen. 

The tree of LIFE. Autumn has come and gone faster than I have thought this year. Although many still argue that we do not have 4 seasons, but rather 2, I completely disagree  Johannesburg is the worlds largest man-made forrest so the urban fabric is densely populated with all sorts of beautiful indigenous, but mostly exotic trees. This is the view from my boyfriends apartment. It is magical. I have watched this tree now for the past month, morphologically change from its bright summer green leaves to the burnt amber red in the already dry dusty environment. Its fellow yellow leaves scatter the floor golden, never to be seen again in its life. With this tree I am reminded the beauty of life, and that there is a god out there somewhere... how else could all this happen with no cause? 

New Website

So after a year of procrastination, my website is finally up and running. For now it just has photo's that I have taken - but more of my work will be updated there shortly. 

Please visit -----> www.stefelino.com 

Flower Time

These beautiful "stone" succulents, or lithops are flowering. They are the size of your thumb nail, yet flower this incredible crisp yellow flower. They constantly split or divide in 2, each time flowering, and multiplying. Supposedly you can save the seeds from the flower - but somehow I have never managed to ever find them! For now I can stare at their beauty and watch them open and close as they sleep and wake up each morning. God is in the details.

Life is in the (smaller) details

I have been a busy boy! Many things on my plate at the moment - main thing university. It was so funny the other day my friend, Ash and I were saying how amazing our marks are currently. They have steadily progressed from first year, which is just an amazing thing. It has been a crazy fun, tear, laugh filled journey to get to where I am now; emotionally, spiritually and mindfully. Every second I have enjoyed though, and I strongly feel that "everything happens for a reason" so I am never doubtful. I live passionately and contently, and laugh at myself when I catch myself otherwise. Only human nature isn't it?

Fresh Beginnings

I have decided to try start to blog again. I realised that its complete crap that I do not, and that my fear of perfection on creating the "perfect" article / blog piece must be dropped. My blog should become the daily the documentation of my life, from my Btech studies, to love life, to life in general. It should be a platform that inspires others, and where I can show what has inspired me!!! ENOUGH of this procrastination or fear! It is total non-sense!
So I start with this beautiful psychedelic hydrangea in my garden. It's a late bloomer but the colour in the dusk of day is simply magical! Nature is amazing and apart of who I am! I need it! Together with this gorgeous rain! It's enriches my soul and free's my mind of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

Beautiful Life

"Beautiful Work #light #photography #love #cityofgold #cold #jozi #warm #beautiful #oldretrolight "

Autumn

The first signs of autumn for me is when the Gladiolus's start to bloom together with the crisp golden leaves that start to shed from the giant chestnut tress throughout the city. This to me is bliss, a season of change which should always be welcomed with an open heart. I am going to enjoy every moment of autumn before the landscape does a turn, becoming dry and arid. 

Be Big

life is a crazy messed up thing, but there are beautiful times that come along with it. We just have to remember those and not let the bad 'fuzzy' things get in the way - however, we need to learn from them, and progress forward. Cést la vie.

Telling Stories

Telling Stories by Caitlyn Fay Smith is an amazing inspirational photographic exhibition at Velo Cafe, The Grove in Braamfontein. She tells her stories through the amazing journey she had throughout her travels in India, Nepal & Indonesia. The exhibition is open till 24th March, so do try and visit. Her beautiful photos are both eye-catching, original and powerful with detail. "Telling / adjective: having striking or revealing effect: significant, 'A telling story.'" 

Visit her website: www.caitlynfaysmith.com 

Braamfontein

Braamfontein is beautiful in charisma and regenerating with life in all cracks possible. We managed to get a sneak peak from the top of a building, and the views are absolutely breathe taking.

Peter Magubane

Last week was the opening of the photographic exhibition of the legendary South African photographer, Peter Magubane at the FADA Gallery. His photos are of "Child Labour" captured through his brownie camera back in the 1950's. The photo's are of children who, willingly or non-willingly worked for money. As some of the photographs explained, were that boys in the city, generally willingly went out in search of work. They wanted to get away from their families and earn a living for themselves. Why? Most probably because of the genes imprinted within us, the 'man kind' instinct of fending for oneself? 

The boys working on the farms, or coal mines, were almost forced to… Peter Magubane went out in search to capture photo's for his country, through reading Drum, The Times, and Life, he wanted to be apart of history. When searching for these children working, he often offered them a place to stay, a better life than what they were currently living in. Those who did want a "better" life went with him, and he would take them home and feed them with a 1/4 load of bread and a carton of milk. This is the reach and extent Peter went to help these children where possible. 

Ït doesn't matter how expensive the camera, even if it is R20… because its not the camera that takes pictures, it is you. You are the one that chooses what picture you want to capture." Some amazing words for a amateur photographer like myself. This wise, eloquent man is remarkable. Not to forget is how through his photography did he become Nelson Mandela's personal photographer through the apartheid regime as well as through his presidency. 

Some amazing advice from the master himself, "Taking photo's is like a woman giving birth, it pushes you for more, 'I want more of this' is what you say" it becomes the next best addiction. "Today is the day to start working… Work hard - now!"

In & Out…

In & Out of Time - Maya Angelou

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance...

our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out of time.

When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun

and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor

I had always loved you more.

You freed your braids...

gave your hair to the breeze.

It hummed like a hive of honey bees.

I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....

Mmmm...God how I love your hair.

You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.

Lost, injured, hurt by chance.

I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....

Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out

in and out

in and out

of time.

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life

does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." (M. Angelou) Yet life is still has those unpredictable curve balls that it throws at you. Some you dodge, and others just smack you right in the face. But if its one thing that I have learn, is stand tall and proud, and have persistence. It will just get 'easier' along the way - and do not forget to have faith in Him... He is my strength, my light & my Savior.

Letters to Him

"When you most feel like giving up is when you most need to be persisting." - Robin Sharma (2012)

Of Pride

The neighborhood of the Game Reserve and the presence, outside our boundary, of the big fame, gave a particular character to the farm, as if we had ten the neighbors of a great king. very proud things were about, and made their nearness felt.

The barbarian loves his own pride, and hates, or disbelieves in, the pride of others. I will be a civilized being, i will love the pride of my adversaries, of my servants, and my lover; and my house shall be, in all humility, in the wilderness a civilized place.

Pride is faith in the idea that God had, when he made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea, and aspires to realize it. he does not strive towards a happiness, or comfort, which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him. His success is the idea of God, successfully carries through, and he is in love with his destiny. As the good citizen finds his happiness in the fulfillment of his city to the community, so does the proud man find his happiness in the fulfillment of his fate. 

People who have no pride are not aware of any idea of God in the making of them, and sometimes they make you count that there has ever been much of an idea, or else it has bee lost, and who shall find it again? They have got to accept as success what other warrant to be so, and to take their happiness, and even thor own selves, at the quotation of the day.

They tremble, with reason, before their fate.

Love the pride of God beyond all things, and the pride of your neighbor as your own. the pride of lions: do not shut them up in zoos. The pride of your dogs: let them not grow fat. Love the pride of your fellow-partisans, and allow them no self-pity.

Love the pride of the conquered nations, and leave them to honor their father and mother. 

Blixen, K. Out In Africa. First Published 1954, Penguin England. 223, 224.

Soul Cleansing

I step onto the beach this fine morning. I pray that with each wave that washes over me I am able to release all hurt and anger within me. Wash it away; out of my soul. Fill me up with only goodness, love and life. I stand alone and I am perfectly at peace with this (idea) - for now...

Day of Reconciliation

An unexpected trip I decided to go on with my best friend who is like a sister with me, brought me to this place. We glided into King Shaka, and a short drive we were here in the north coast: Zinkwazi. A lot of change has happened in my life in the past couple months where I have been left feeling mixed emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, depression, hate... This trip is exactly what I needed at this moment in time. It has been so good for me to 'forgive and forget' however this is harder done than said. But it was perfect timing, with this trip and that the day I arrived, the beginning of my trip stared on the Day of Reconciliation (16th December). I have asked for guidance from Him how to do all of this... How to reconcile the past... Everyday is a step forward, and step closer to my sanity, peace and 'normality' - I welcome it with arms wide open.

Faith

I'm sitting on a moss covered bench in a secret garden at the 111 year old St. Peter Anglican Church in Melville. I feel so at peace. The door to the church is locked - that is fine, perfect - I would have not found this secret bench. There is music blaring in the distance - something that would have irritated me much, but the water trickling down the fountain behind me is calming. EXCATLY what I need. It's year end. My head is in a complete spin. Much change has happened, and I think I have finally lifted my heels that are so pain-stakingly digging in the dry earth everyday. I feel close to Him. At home. Beas, insects, buzzing, birds, pitter - patter, vroom... 

The air is fresh from the newly wet garden. So fresh I can smell the jasmine, the voluptuous roses, the soil and some other sweet smell I cannot think of right now... It will come.

Lord I pray for guidance, hope and humility, as I sit blissfully here upon You. 

Tropical Summer

This past weekend was a crazy one. Filled with tons of emotions, fun, laughter & tears. Something that I was not expecting, because all that I longed for was just reading in my bed. It was a surprise to be summoned out of bed by my mom… I took her to one of my (our) favorite pizza places in the whole of Jozi - Ant Cafe on 7th Street, Melville. We shared a delicious Italian pizza, and gobbled it before it even hit the table. The scene inside was just perfect. The moodiness in the air, the light, the time of day, and the atmosphere. We will be back my mom has demanded. And with that so will a bottle of wine beside us :-)

Red Summer Delight

Red Summer Raspberries - I planted these precious plants a year ago and they have just over taken a section of my garden. I'm not complaining because it gives me great satisfaction to wake up every morning, with the sun beating down on my back to pick more than a punnet full of fresh ripe reddish-purplish raspberries. There is nothing better than fresh grown fruits & veggies out your own garden. Surprisingly they are growing so well, despite the smallish drought that Jozi has been experiencing. Well I'm not too sure if you can call it a drought, but we definitely have not has as much rain as in the previous years. Or maybe could it just be in spite of COP17 that has recently taken place? Anyway I have my sweet tasting ripe raspberries which make me all fuzzy inside.

Room-mate

I wake up to this sight every morning - bliss. I especially love that it is summer and that by the time i wake up the sun is beading through my blinds, just asking me to open them. I love my space - my room. Its a 'pokey' 8 x 5m space, but it is something that I could live in the rest of my life. I do not need more than this. The past few years i have seen a transformation in myself. Moving from this crazy obsessed materialistic world, to something which is more grounded, down to earth and simpler. My priorities are much different now. I'm a big boy, so I keep getting told… But life is still hard, and this space is what I admire, I love. Theres nothing here. Almost symbolically like myself. Theres bricks, motar, plaster and paint. Nothing fancy. Just bare, plain, naked. What you see is (almost) what you get…

Faith

I'm looking at past photos that I have taken, and this second I would love nothing more than to have Mamma lying on my chest, claws digging into my chest while both our hearts connect with love and affection for each other. She is my friend, mother and my (security) blanket and I wish I was with her now... Because I know she would give me faith...

Daisy Delight

Summer is finally here, which brings a sense of happiness and smiles to my face. A very dramatic season in terms of all the different moods it plays out. Tonight is another moody night with silent lighting on the horizon, I sit here on my 'zebra' stripped couch fittingly placed by my bedroom window as I stare into the nights abyss. I should be happy and fulfilled - but I am not... Something is picking at my door - inside I'm scared, hurt, angry and confused.

Tomorrow is a new day and with it brings the light that I seek on a daily basis. Something that fills me with life, together with all other living organisms out there that roam this beautiful place.

Lord bring into the light what is in the dark, protect me and let my light shine.

A Red Affair

Therere is nothing better than a nice cup of plunger coffee. Red is a colour that I have in my bedroom - do not ask me why, I guess it just happened, but maybe it's because of the warm and love I get from it?

Lost Love

There are things on life we can never predict. Some come as shock, other with joy and surprise and some with great deep sadness. But such is life - this is change is one of the most beautiful actions in life. You can either ignore it or run with it. Running with it as fast as your legs can carry or go. However not everything seems crystal clear, so baby steps are needed at first - I'm crawling at the moment, with uncertainty of what is around the corner, but at least I'm in the forward motion, slowly in Gods care and grace. Slow, careful, so I can hear and appreciate his every move - for me, for MY LIFE. Time will pass and like the egg, the circle of life will continue, majestically, beautifully, uninterrupted as it has been doing for millennia.

Lord I pray for wisdom and understanding - and I pray for the strengthening and renewing of my mind. Amen.