Be Big

life is a crazy messed up thing, but there are beautiful times that come along with it. We just have to remember those and not let the bad 'fuzzy' things get in the way - however, we need to learn from them, and progress forward. Cést la vie.

Of Pride

The neighborhood of the Game Reserve and the presence, outside our boundary, of the big fame, gave a particular character to the farm, as if we had ten the neighbors of a great king. very proud things were about, and made their nearness felt.

The barbarian loves his own pride, and hates, or disbelieves in, the pride of others. I will be a civilized being, i will love the pride of my adversaries, of my servants, and my lover; and my house shall be, in all humility, in the wilderness a civilized place.

Pride is faith in the idea that God had, when he made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea, and aspires to realize it. he does not strive towards a happiness, or comfort, which may be irrelevant to God's idea of him. His success is the idea of God, successfully carries through, and he is in love with his destiny. As the good citizen finds his happiness in the fulfillment of his city to the community, so does the proud man find his happiness in the fulfillment of his fate. 

People who have no pride are not aware of any idea of God in the making of them, and sometimes they make you count that there has ever been much of an idea, or else it has bee lost, and who shall find it again? They have got to accept as success what other warrant to be so, and to take their happiness, and even thor own selves, at the quotation of the day.

They tremble, with reason, before their fate.

Love the pride of God beyond all things, and the pride of your neighbor as your own. the pride of lions: do not shut them up in zoos. The pride of your dogs: let them not grow fat. Love the pride of your fellow-partisans, and allow them no self-pity.

Love the pride of the conquered nations, and leave them to honor their father and mother. 

Blixen, K. Out In Africa. First Published 1954, Penguin England. 223, 224.

Faith

I'm sitting on a moss covered bench in a secret garden at the 111 year old St. Peter Anglican Church in Melville. I feel so at peace. The door to the church is locked - that is fine, perfect - I would have not found this secret bench. There is music blaring in the distance - something that would have irritated me much, but the water trickling down the fountain behind me is calming. EXCATLY what I need. It's year end. My head is in a complete spin. Much change has happened, and I think I have finally lifted my heels that are so pain-stakingly digging in the dry earth everyday. I feel close to Him. At home. Beas, insects, buzzing, birds, pitter - patter, vroom... 

The air is fresh from the newly wet garden. So fresh I can smell the jasmine, the voluptuous roses, the soil and some other sweet smell I cannot think of right now... It will come.

Lord I pray for guidance, hope and humility, as I sit blissfully here upon You. 

Room-mate

I wake up to this sight every morning - bliss. I especially love that it is summer and that by the time i wake up the sun is beading through my blinds, just asking me to open them. I love my space - my room. Its a 'pokey' 8 x 5m space, but it is something that I could live in the rest of my life. I do not need more than this. The past few years i have seen a transformation in myself. Moving from this crazy obsessed materialistic world, to something which is more grounded, down to earth and simpler. My priorities are much different now. I'm a big boy, so I keep getting told… But life is still hard, and this space is what I admire, I love. Theres nothing here. Almost symbolically like myself. Theres bricks, motar, plaster and paint. Nothing fancy. Just bare, plain, naked. What you see is (almost) what you get…

Daisy Delight

Summer is finally here, which brings a sense of happiness and smiles to my face. A very dramatic season in terms of all the different moods it plays out. Tonight is another moody night with silent lighting on the horizon, I sit here on my 'zebra' stripped couch fittingly placed by my bedroom window as I stare into the nights abyss. I should be happy and fulfilled - but I am not... Something is picking at my door - inside I'm scared, hurt, angry and confused.

Tomorrow is a new day and with it brings the light that I seek on a daily basis. Something that fills me with life, together with all other living organisms out there that roam this beautiful place.

Lord bring into the light what is in the dark, protect me and let my light shine.

Lost Love

There are things on life we can never predict. Some come as shock, other with joy and surprise and some with great deep sadness. But such is life - this is change is one of the most beautiful actions in life. You can either ignore it or run with it. Running with it as fast as your legs can carry or go. However not everything seems crystal clear, so baby steps are needed at first - I'm crawling at the moment, with uncertainty of what is around the corner, but at least I'm in the forward motion, slowly in Gods care and grace. Slow, careful, so I can hear and appreciate his every move - for me, for MY LIFE. Time will pass and like the egg, the circle of life will continue, majestically, beautifully, uninterrupted as it has been doing for millennia.

Lord I pray for wisdom and understanding - and I pray for the strengthening and renewing of my mind. Amen.

Change

I was sitting romantically by myself watching the drama of this boring coffee shop that I so much love and hate. CHANGE: is what it's suppose to be! Change is good so I'm told... Change in seasons, change all around me. Change, change, change with pocket change. Together with it comes a form of resistance! GET OUT! Now, where's the exit? Follow the signs! Think and tap into that creative energy that looks, looms within you - that is screaming; softly, gently! L.O.V.E

Last Light

Its the last of the day. The sun now goes down round 17:15. But that is soon to be short lived as the longest night of the year is a few weeks away! Then its only down hill from there to another gorgeous season, spring. But let's not jump the gun... there is still the highveld frost and cold to get through. Lord please protect my garden and cover it with your blood. Amen.

Cheese and Wine Sunday

What a magical afternoon. Peace, tranquillity, love, passion, relaxation...
I absolutely love nothing else than to sit down, sip good wine, and look out
onto magical views. God is amazing!

Try to Be Alive

The most solid advice . . . for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

-WILLIAM SAROYAN-

I think this applies to anyone! Love each day, for tomorrow might be your last...
I Love You...

Swoosh

There are something's I miss like playing around with my camera at random
moments through time. There is however one thing that I do not miss, and
that is standing in the dark, inexperienced, lonely, afraid. Now I am a
warrior of light... the light which I shall try to seek - constantly &
forever.

Optimism

'If you search for good, you will find favour; but if you search for evil,
it will find you!' - Prov 11:27 NLT
ALWAYS seek the light, for the dark only holds a world of uncertainties...

Milky Way

Its Easter Sunday, the holiest of calendar days. It is the most perfect night, a cool breeze, I stare into the milky way above me. I feel minute and at peace with everything - I could not want more or less this very second. I thank Him for my life and where I am right this moment.