The tree of LIFE. Autumn has come and gone faster than I have thought this year. Although many still argue that we do not have 4 seasons, but rather 2, I completely disagree  Johannesburg is the worlds largest man-made forrest so the urban fabric is densely populated with all sorts of beautiful indigenous, but mostly exotic trees. This is the view from my boyfriends apartment. It is magical. I have watched this tree now for the past month, morphologically change from its bright summer green leaves to the burnt amber red in the already dry dusty environment. Its fellow yellow leaves scatter the floor golden, never to be seen again in its life. With this tree I am reminded the beauty of life, and that there is a god out there somewhere... how else could all this happen with no cause? 

Be Big

life is a crazy messed up thing, but there are beautiful times that come along with it. We just have to remember those and not let the bad 'fuzzy' things get in the way - however, we need to learn from them, and progress forward. Cést la vie.

In & Out…

In & Out of Time - Maya Angelou

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance...

our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out of time.

When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun

and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor

I had always loved you more.

You freed your braids...

gave your hair to the breeze.

It hummed like a hive of honey bees.

I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....

Mmmm...God how I love your hair.

You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.

Lost, injured, hurt by chance.

I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....

Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out

in and out

in and out

of time.

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life

does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." (M. Angelou) Yet life is still has those unpredictable curve balls that it throws at you. Some you dodge, and others just smack you right in the face. But if its one thing that I have learn, is stand tall and proud, and have persistence. It will just get 'easier' along the way - and do not forget to have faith in Him... He is my strength, my light & my Savior.

Soul Cleansing

I step onto the beach this fine morning. I pray that with each wave that washes over me I am able to release all hurt and anger within me. Wash it away; out of my soul. Fill me up with only goodness, love and life. I stand alone and I am perfectly at peace with this (idea) - for now...

Faith

I'm sitting on a moss covered bench in a secret garden at the 111 year old St. Peter Anglican Church in Melville. I feel so at peace. The door to the church is locked - that is fine, perfect - I would have not found this secret bench. There is music blaring in the distance - something that would have irritated me much, but the water trickling down the fountain behind me is calming. EXCATLY what I need. It's year end. My head is in a complete spin. Much change has happened, and I think I have finally lifted my heels that are so pain-stakingly digging in the dry earth everyday. I feel close to Him. At home. Beas, insects, buzzing, birds, pitter - patter, vroom... 

The air is fresh from the newly wet garden. So fresh I can smell the jasmine, the voluptuous roses, the soil and some other sweet smell I cannot think of right now... It will come.

Lord I pray for guidance, hope and humility, as I sit blissfully here upon You. 

Room-mate

I wake up to this sight every morning - bliss. I especially love that it is summer and that by the time i wake up the sun is beading through my blinds, just asking me to open them. I love my space - my room. Its a 'pokey' 8 x 5m space, but it is something that I could live in the rest of my life. I do not need more than this. The past few years i have seen a transformation in myself. Moving from this crazy obsessed materialistic world, to something which is more grounded, down to earth and simpler. My priorities are much different now. I'm a big boy, so I keep getting told… But life is still hard, and this space is what I admire, I love. Theres nothing here. Almost symbolically like myself. Theres bricks, motar, plaster and paint. Nothing fancy. Just bare, plain, naked. What you see is (almost) what you get…

Daisy Delight

Summer is finally here, which brings a sense of happiness and smiles to my face. A very dramatic season in terms of all the different moods it plays out. Tonight is another moody night with silent lighting on the horizon, I sit here on my 'zebra' stripped couch fittingly placed by my bedroom window as I stare into the nights abyss. I should be happy and fulfilled - but I am not... Something is picking at my door - inside I'm scared, hurt, angry and confused.

Tomorrow is a new day and with it brings the light that I seek on a daily basis. Something that fills me with life, together with all other living organisms out there that roam this beautiful place.

Lord bring into the light what is in the dark, protect me and let my light shine.

Lost Love

There are things on life we can never predict. Some come as shock, other with joy and surprise and some with great deep sadness. But such is life - this is change is one of the most beautiful actions in life. You can either ignore it or run with it. Running with it as fast as your legs can carry or go. However not everything seems crystal clear, so baby steps are needed at first - I'm crawling at the moment, with uncertainty of what is around the corner, but at least I'm in the forward motion, slowly in Gods care and grace. Slow, careful, so I can hear and appreciate his every move - for me, for MY LIFE. Time will pass and like the egg, the circle of life will continue, majestically, beautifully, uninterrupted as it has been doing for millennia.

Lord I pray for wisdom and understanding - and I pray for the strengthening and renewing of my mind. Amen.

Change

I was sitting romantically by myself watching the drama of this boring coffee shop that I so much love and hate. CHANGE: is what it's suppose to be! Change is good so I'm told... Change in seasons, change all around me. Change, change, change with pocket change. Together with it comes a form of resistance! GET OUT! Now, where's the exit? Follow the signs! Think and tap into that creative energy that looks, looms within you - that is screaming; softly, gently! L.O.V.E

Faith aka Mama

She had the Faith to come to the back door of the house on a stormy summers night with her two kittens, and Charles took them in with open arms. Now she has become the Mama of the house - always there for love and hugs, tears and laughter. She is my other 'Mama'. I love you!

Try to Be Alive

The most solid advice . . . for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell, and when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

-WILLIAM SAROYAN-

I think this applies to anyone! Love each day, for tomorrow might be your last...
I Love You...

Dullstroom

There is nothing 'dull' about Dullstroom, its magical autumn bliss with the array of bright and dark oranges! I love this time of year!

Milky Way

Its Easter Sunday, the holiest of calendar days. It is the most perfect night, a cool breeze, I stare into the milky way above me. I feel minute and at peace with everything - I could not want more or less this very second. I thank Him for my life and where I am right this moment.